ramble on

2007-10-30T08:42:00.002-04:00

's odyssey!

I’ve the dubious distinction of being hit by that dreaded ‘midlife-crisis’ much before the middle-age did so. Although one could relentlessly argue as to how middle is middle, it’s been a blessing in disguise so far. Mid-crisis (no pun intended) I tried hard not to fall into the stereotype of covering my bald-spot, driving a Porsche with the top down and a gorgeous blonde by my side. Mainly because I’m not bald, I couldn’t afford a sports-car and well… you get the picture.

It’s very hard for me to nail down that very moment (or that year for that matter) when adolescence ended and the next phase commenced. In fact I'm not sure if I made a smooth transition from my awkward teenage to my ‘Odyssey years’. I’ve never had the urge to backpack myself into remote spiritual destinations for finding myself. My middle-class upbringing never let me contemplate, even for a second, to take a year off from everything and resume college later. I’ve probably conformed to conventional norms by enrolling myself into a prestigious institution and landed a comfortable job.

Only when I was comfortably settled in my ‘adult-phase’ did the realization dawn upon me that I was about to do my job every day for the rest of my life and that woke me up. There was so much I had to do and I didn’t want to continue with my ‘cushy’ life for the next few decades to find myself at a point where I would begin to wonder if I had made the right decision.

With able support from my family and friends I was fortunate enough to restructure my life to do what I really wanted to do. It may have involved a little struggle and it could have set me back a few years – but to be paid to do what you love – ain’t that the dream?

And thus I found myself in my so-called ‘Odyssey years’ but only by a sort of trial n error process between adolescence and adulthood, zigzagging between various things and striving hard to keep my life from breaking apart at seams that hold these very phases together. I didn’t have to desert my family and people close to me, experiment with mind-altering substances or go on long indefinite trips. As much as all these things might have their own edge, or so they say, – I went on my odyssey by staying close home but by following my dream.

2007-01-19T05:07:00.000-05:00

Citizen Kant
(a k a how I learned to stop worrying about the frames and love the narrative)

...I know, I know. The pun on the extended title is a 'lil forced and it's down right blasphemous to trivialize Mr. Kubrick's classic for mere blogging! But as Guru Kant Desai would say, it's a free world and everything out there is up for grabs. You just need the drive, a little dowry and some shareholders' confidence.

First things first - Guru is no Citizen Kane. In fact I don't think Mr. Ratnam wanted it that way either. But the 'rags to riches' chronicle of a single man-Guru, high on adrenaline and ambition and low on scruples, definitely brings that old classic into our collective memory at one point or the other in almost 3 hours of its viewing time.

It is, however, refreshing to see a piece of cinema high on narrative and not so obsessed with how it looks in every frame that's projected on the screen. Our films, and especially Mani Ratnam's, are guilty of that very sin. Guru, while not a total departure from being vane, is definitely a step in the right direction. A small step indeed for him ... and a giant leap for the rest of the 'filmkind.'

Right at the outset the movie draws us in into the protagonist's world, exposing Guru's ambitious exploits and Ms. Sherawat's legs in a handheld-jerkyTurkey. A staple up-beat number, bathed in monsoon, to introduce the main actress and we are home. So is Guru-bhai. A little bit of chracter development, some superficial and some decently fleshed-out, a few chance encounters with secondary players, romantic sub-plots exploiting the particular forte of the director, musical interludes, judiciously thrown in the background but some forcing themselves into unwanted songs for the galleries... and you race to the finale where a tired Guru fights yet another battle with a grand inquiry commision. Fighting with a dwindling accent, some astute insights into capitalism, but one faux pas of a grand sacrelegious comparision to himself and Gandhiji, he comes out on top minus a minor monetary setback. Then comes that fitting cinematic encore of the triumphant man addressing his digitally-interfaced cheering followers in a packed stadium amidst a happy family, proud friends and a cool circular Dolley move taking us to a crescendo.

Yeah Guru-bhai keeps switching in and out of his Gujrati accent at his will, yes that woman suffering from sclerosis and her idealistic partner crusader-journalist is too much to stomach and sure the narrative moves sometimes, not visually, but by virtue of its dialogue... albeit sharply written and of course the movie doesn't pull all stops but holds back in creating an otherwise powerful expose of its main character and ends up, erasing some promising grey shades, making it slightly simplistic. Also those high-speed strobey shots to underline the hero's drama and character dilemma are a little indulgent and call attention to form more than content.

But it is definitely an engaging saga, almost bordering on bio-pic genre so alien to our cinema, which captures hi s and lo s of its protagonist with relentless honesty, uncharacteristic elan, powerhouse performances and some virtuoso cinematic execution.

...to sum it up; Guru sure takes care of bijness.

2007-01-09T04:48:00.000-05:00

...Who would 've thunk it?

10. Saddam gets the noose.
09. Zizou gets the cup... for Italy.
08. India gets another booker. It's time they call it 'wo'man booker prize.
07. Sania can still hold a racquet... barely.
06. Gandhi can still hold the audience (his ghost can anyway)
05. Federer is human after all. Did you see him play cricket?
04. Mel makes a movie and the hero doesn't die or resurrect. It still makes money.
03. Saurav finds himself in the test squad. Doesn't take his shirt off.
02. Hritik signs the biggest contract in showbiz. Takes his shirt off.
01. Agent 007 doesn't care if his martini is shaken or stirred!

... now that gotta be the most shocking of 'em all. I mean we all know how picky he is bout his cars, gadgets, women and dry martinis. But this is the new Bond and a new year 007.

Goodbye 006!!

2007-01-07T10:38:00.000-05:00

"hole-in-the-wall-gang"

... talk 'bout soaking in the ambience, eh? Has there ever been a pic that captures what it means to be stiffled when you are trying to realize a certain vision of yours, no matter how silly it is ... and your struggle to break free?

Well, you might think the script helped. actually, between you and me, am just looking at the day's lunch menu.

like they say... you gotta do what you gotta do!!

2006-12-28T07:58:00.000-05:00

LOO-natic stuff!

... in case you haven't noticed, we are being served lunch. Nice, gourmet, '3-course and a desert' feast. Not your everyday mid-day meal of course. Especially considering we are right in front of...

... you guessed it...

What job offers us this wonderful yet warped opportunity?

...this one!

2006-12-28T06:23:00.000-05:00

!!! ybab kcab m'I .......

2006-09-10T02:51:00.000-04:00

...of men and moustaches!!

think about it, wouldn't the afore-mentioned title make a decent tagline for that timeless classic "golmaal?"

on a more poignant note, it's amazing how many pieces of dialogue and verses of songs penned by the master deem very appropriate, unfortunately, for his own sad demise. Hrishi da left us a couple of weeks ago, at 84, and one can't escape the melancholic irony of the themes that persisted through his amazing body of work... that of 'life in the face of adversity' and interesting variations of it.

To wit just a few... how bout "tum bin jeevan kaisa jeevan..." a lilting tune from melodious Manna de, or "... jaane bhi de aiye dil, sab ko mera salaam" a heart-breaking number from a soulful Kishore. In fact the whole of "main shaayar badnaam" seemed to have been written just for moments like this. And then how bout those parting words from that yet another great classic where Bachchan's voice booms over a stray baloon cut loose over an evening sky..."Anand mara nahin, Anand marte nahin". He couldn't have been more prophetic indeed.

What's your favorite(s) among Hrishi da's films? Mine's an obscure cult film, with Amitabh in lead, known more for a song by Yesudas... any guesses?

2006-04-30T11:21:00.000-04:00

well the rules in this club...

rule#1. everyone talks about it...
rule#2. and they should talk a lot
rule#3. promote world peace if you are into that sort of a thing
rule#4. say no to drugs and unprotected sex
rule#5. smoke only if you must
rule#6. keep away from Rafi. life's too short for that.

2006-04-30T10:49:00.000-04:00

Talk bout a 'bad-hair day'!

Neverthless, we still like our classic celluloids Mr. RGV and Farhan Akhtar. Please dont hack em remakes...

2006-04-29T08:31:00.000-04:00

what goes around comes around ... in the

cycle of life!

2006-04-29T06:02:00.000-04:00

S: The other Constant - unveiled!

aka Death, Taxes and S.

Change is the only constant in life - now this little piece of wise-ass irony may be cool enough to adorn a few T-shirts but it's not entirely true am afraid.
Ladies and gents, I present to you the "other constant in life: S". Please allow me to elaborate.

(Geek Alert: on a geekiness scale of 0-10, if you are 6 and above please read on and, if you didn't make the cut I've some wonderful porn sites I would like to recommend to you. but that's a whole different story and hence a different blog post. anyway...)

The grand S is defined as the product of H and R. Let me reiterate S=H*R. H stands for Hope and R for Regret. And the product of H and R, S my dear fellas, is always constant. At any given, precisely infetesimal, point of your life the particular nanosecond, you are living, can be split into two factors. The factors being 1.your hope for a better future and 2.regret for not so good past.

Picture this - you just came into this world. The whole cosmos revolves around the centre of the universe, also known as you. You got nothing to look back and cry on, the whole future lies ahead. Family and friends only worsen the situation by further enhancing the illusion. Your H factor is hitting through the roof and your R? well your R is practically minimal.

Now let me break the bubble and flash the news...it's all downhill from there. As you get deeper into existence (oft mistaken for life) regrets accumulate sooner than you can keep track of and hope collapses faster than the Indian middle-order (in Pre-Dhoni era). Well in pure english your R shoots up and your H goes down. And their product? Always remains constant.

If you are thinking this is all some qualitative existential gibberish here's a thing for you. I've tried to conceive a more tangible way of realizing your H&R factors. Living in the information overload age let me exploit an example of our most beloved invention (which also is singularly responsible for making us very complacent and entitely gullible as a collective humankind) Television. When we were growing up (strictly speaking in age-terms) devouring everything from inane filmy broadcasts to over-exposed cricketing action on TV, the median (or average, whicchever suits you better) age of people we looked up to, from leaders to rolemodels to celebrities and atheletes, was always greater than our age. Of course we had something rosy to look forward to. The reason? We were not there yet, we still had time. R? Noone even heard of it. H? At it's all time high, breaking the scale.The future is exciting. Everything is hunkydory. Flowers blooming, snow falling...you get the idea. But then something happened...something we never thought we would do...something that just came out of nowhere...well, we blinked. And before you knew it the factors reversed.

The exact same median age of people that matter, who are constantly beamed into our living rooms, is less, way way less than yours and mine. All of a sudden life's full of despair. We regret everything we have done and even regret more the things we have not done. Almost every line uttered by us invariaby begins with phrases "I should have..." or "I could have..." or strings of words with similar effect. Future? You couldn't find it if you were Columbus with a roadmap and a state-of -the-art compass. Where's life gone? Well if you are very careful you can see it turning off at a far distance in your rear-view. To put it more succinctly your R is at an all-time high and your H, lesser said the better.

But do not despair, my fellow co-existors, for hope and regret can play as much ping-pong as they want with us, but you and I know, and can sleep well with the knowledge, that their product is always constant. Hence S=H*R is always constant and that is the only other indefatigable certainty along with death and taxes!

2006-04-29T05:56:00.000-04:00

S: The Other Constant

...comin soon!